{"id":10009,"date":"2007-11-01T20:25:26","date_gmt":"2007-11-01T19:25:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.harald-bluechel.com\/where-i-am-going-to\/"},"modified":"2007-11-01T20:25:26","modified_gmt":"2007-11-01T19:25:26","slug":"where-i-am-going-to","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/where-i-am-going-to\/","title":{"rendered":"where I am going to"},"content":{"rendered":"

where I am going to<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

i came to wedding in november 2003.<\/p>\n

I will be going again in november 2007.<\/p>\n

I lived alone.<\/p>\n

i came with the desire to get to the bottom of my soul.<\/p>\n

to see beyond the edges of my feelings.<\/p>\n

i decided to look my inner turmoil in the face<\/p>\n

-without ifs and buts.<\/p>\n

I finally wanted to go beyond this limit,<\/p>\n

over this barrier of fear, uncertainty and loss of self,<\/p>\n

setting off into the forbidden zone.<\/p>\n

a fight to the death.<\/p>\n

I was ready for it.<\/p>\n

I thought it might be a little easier.<\/p>\n

I had to go completely into the darkness again halfway through,<\/p>\n

through a never-ending desert.<\/p>\n

but I never let go.<\/p>\n

i came more and more into contact with spheres and elements of myself that had previously been untouchable.<\/p>\n

i had to go back to my childhood, to the source of my conditions.<\/p>\n

I was finally ready for it.<\/p>\n

i learned that there is a difference between the true self and the prescribed self.<\/p>\n

i learned to recognize the differences and understand their origins.<\/p>\n

i have never known what inner freedom is.<\/p>\n

i never knew the difference between inner freedom and outer freedom.<\/p>\n

i felt for the first time: my own grief, my own pain, my own anger, my own emptiness.<\/p>\n

i am finally becoming my own father and mother.<\/p>\n

i will finally wake up as an adult.<\/p>\n

(sept 07)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

where I am going to i came to wedding in november 2003. I will be going again in november 2007. I lived alone. i came with the desire to get […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59],"tags":[430,425],"class_list":["post-10009","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-autobiographical","tag-berlin-en","tag-biography"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10009","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10009"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10009\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.harald-bluechel.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}